A lot of people think that depression is just sadness. But when you’re depressed, you may also lose interest in your normal activities and find it nearly impossible to dig up the motivation to do anything. Something as simple as brushing your teeth can feel overwhelming!

We use the GRAPES tool to help people with depression overcome their inertia. If you’re struggling with depression, using a fruit-themed mnemonic device may not sound very appealing, but stick with us. We promise it will help!

GRAPES stands for:

• Gentle with Self

• Relaxation

• Accomplishment

• Pleasure

• Exercise

• Social

The idea is that instead of overwhelming yourself with an extensive to do list—or staying in bed starting at the ceiling—you commit to a few basic self care activities each day. Action begets motivation. So in many cases, simply doing your GRAPES each day will give you the perspective and energy to do more. If not, no worries. You can go back to laying in bed knowing that you at least did something!

How to Use GRAPES

There are many different ways to schedule your GRAPES. Generally, we recommend that clients plan what they are going to do in each category the night before. You can commit your GRAPES to a trusted friend or family member, which will help you follow through on your commitment. If your friend or family member wants more information on how to support you, have them read How to Support a Loved One with Depression.

You may notice after several weeks that you consistently skip one or two activities. For example, if you also deal with anxiety you may have a difficult time completing Relaxation. This is a great topic to bring up in therapy. You and your therapist can discuss why you avoid Relaxation, or discuss alternative methods of Relaxation that might be more appealing to you.

Each GRAPES Activity Explained, Plus Examples

Gentle with Self

Gentle with Self is about showing yourself compassion. The actual activities that cultivate this sense of self love can vary depending on what you find nurturing.

Here are a few examples to get you started:

• Getting a massage

• Listening to an uplifting podcast

• Practicing self affirmations

• Doing something spiritual, like prayer

• Forgiving yourself

• Going to therapy

The idea is that you want to do something that affirms your worth.

Relaxation

Relaxation and Gentle with Self can have some overlap. But the idea here is to calm your central nervous system. You can do the same thing every day, or you can mix it up.

Some proven relaxation techniques:

• Meditation

• Progressive muscle relaxation

• Body scans

You can find guided versions of these techniques on apps like Mindfulness and 10% Happier. There are also YouTube videos that will explain how they are done, and your therapist can guide you through some mindfulness exercises.

You may also consider:

• Reading a book

• Taking a bath

• Sitting outside

Accomplishment

Pick one small thing that you can reasonably do even though you’re depressed. It may be super small, like making the bed, or more complex, like going to work. Scale your Accomplishment to how you’re feeling.

And there’s no need to feel guilt for only doing one thing (see Gentle with Self). Depression is an illness. You wouldn’t blame yourself for being less productive if you had the flu. The same concept applies to depression.

Some examples of Accomplishments:

• Making dinner

• Cleaning the bathroom

• Responding to emails

• Going to the doctor

• Reporting to work

• Taking your children to school

Pleasure

Depression has a way of sapping all the pleasure out of life. Even activities you normally find enjoyable may seem unappealing if you’re struggling with your mood.

It’s actually very important to keep doing those ordinarily pleasurable things even when you’re depressed. Over time, they will become enjoyable again and help pull you out of the pit.

Pleasure can include:

• Eating dessert

• Pursuing a favorite hobby

• Going to the movies

• Having sex with your partner

• Cuddling a pet

• Listening to music

• Reading a book

Exercise

They say that Exercise is the most overlooked antidepressant. Even a short walk can boost your mood, so it’s important to something active every day, no matter how small.

If exercising feels too overwhelming, tell yourself you’re going to walk around the block for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, you can turn around and come home, or you can keep going if you’re feeling better.

Experiment with different forms of exercise until you find the one that clicks for you. Running is a great way to beat depression, but if you have injuries or hate jogging it’s perfectly fine to try something else. Zumba, swimming, weight lifting, surfing—the options are endless.

Social

Depression causes us to avoid other people. But isolation will actually make your mood worse. It’s important to reach out to your friends and family, even when you don’t feel like it.

If you live with other people, you can easily work social time into your day. If that’s not an option, even a simple phone call is better than nothing. Many of our clients like to keep a short list of people they can call when they are depressed. You don’t have to talk about the depression.

GRAPES Complements Weekly Therapy

GRAPES is a great daily tool that works especially well if you are going to weekly therapy sessions. Your therapist can review your GRAPES with you, work on any hang ups, and keep you accountable.

To find out if therapy is for you, contact us at (760) 283-7000 today.