Everything You Need to Know About Support Groups
Every animal species has a defense mechanism. One that's common among prey animals in particular is seeking safety in numbers.
Predators like lions never take down a group of animals (for example, a herd of sheep). What a lion does instead is this: he lures one of the sheep out of the herd by frightening the herd with a chase. The animal that gets isolated from the herd becomes the prey.
The sheep are safer if they can stick together. Support groups, including therapy groups, provide you with similar benefits, especially when you’re tackling big issues like trauma or depression.
Integrity Counseling Group is starting two online support groups. A group for teens with depression begins on March 18, 2021. The other group, for partners of sex addicts, begins on April 9, 2021. Call our intake specialist at (760) 283-7000 for details or to sign up.
What is a support group/group therapy?
Put simply, it's a group of people dealing with the same issues, who meet regularly (usually once a week) to get help for their condition or situation, and to share their experiences.
Unlike one-on-one therapy, where it’s just you and a therapist, a support group gives you the opportunity to build relationships with your fellow sufferers. These connections provide hope and healing as you see your fellow group members learn to thrive in spite of their circumstances.
How do support groups work?
Some support groups are led by the group members themselves. The most common peer-led groups include Alcoholics Anonymous or other 12 Step groups.
Other support groups are led by a therapist or other trained mental health professional. These support groups are sometimes referred to as providing “group therapy.”
Support groups can follow a structured approach, perhaps discussing a relevant book or watching a video series. Other groups provide an open floor for members to share their experiences from the week, particuarly as they relate to the common problem. Many groups offer a mix of both.
Some support groups do allow members to give feedback to each other. This is often referred to as “crosstalk.” Other groups, most notably 12 Step groups, have strict rules against this.
When you’re thinking about joining a support group, consider what format you’re most comfortable with.
Our support groups do involve some member-to-member feedback, but our therapists are always there to moderate the conversation. The “curriculum” for our groups varies; there’s usually a mix of skill building and member sharing.
How do support groups help?
What all of the formats above have in common, is that they provide community, making it more difficult for the “lion” to isolate any of the individual members and take them down.
God created us for connection with each other, and support groups tap into that spiritual DNA.
Support groups remind us we’re not alone.
You may think you’re alone in a situation like addiction, depression, or betrayal. And this sense of being on your own may make you feel worse.
Support groups lift you out of that pit of loneliness, because they give you a community of people who understand what you are going through.
Hearing about other members’ journeys, victories, and flops can make you feel less alone and more connected. As time goes on, you become better equipped to handle your problems and more hopeful.
Support groups are particularly helpful for shame.
Unfortunately, mental illness (or being the partner of a sex addict) often comes with shame. In fact, shame can stop you from joining a support group in the first place.
The truth is, if you’re feeling embarassed about your situation, like you can’t open up or share your story, support groups are a great place to start. After all, every one else there is going through the same thing!
When you see other people dealing with similar issues, you come to understand that you aren't weird or unloveable or unworthy. Whatever you are going through is normal, and there's a way out. That's the beginning of the transformation.
To bring it back to our metaphor, animals stay together for a reason—because it helps them thrive individually and as a species. The same is true of support groups; every individual draws strength from the group and gives back to it.
What are the other benefits of support groups?
Support groups get you out of your head.
Think of the last time you were stressed about something, maybe it was your partner's addiction or a conflict with your teen.
Did obsessing over the problem make things better? No, more likely it made things worse!
But, with a support group, you can get out of your head, find perspective, and return to your day-to-day life with a renewed sense of calm and purpose.
Support groups keep you accountable.
Support groups build a community that keeps you accountable.
Maybe you’ve been hurt by your partner’s sex addiction. Setting boundaries around addiction is hard to do. It’s even harder to stand by your boundaries week after week, especially when your partner is behaving in a manipulative way.
Or maybe you have depression, and you need to exercise every day. But you struggle to stick to a routine, because there are so many other things going on (or you just don’t feel like it).
In both of these examples, a support group can remind you of your commitments and help you see them through. A support group can also help you problem solve based on the other members’ experiences.
Support groups provide an outlet on days you can't see your therapist.
Most people only see their therapist once a week. But what if something comes up in between sessions?
Support groups give you an important mid-week touchstone and another resource.
If you go home from therapy and things get tough that night, instead of thinking you have another 7 days before you can get help again, you can look forward to the support group just a few days away.
Depending on the support group, you may also be able to contact other members in between meetings. Check with your group leader to see what the protocol is around this.
Support groups cost less than one-on-one therapy.
The gold standard for treating issues like addiction, depression, and betrayal is to participate in both one-on-one therapy sessions and support groups at the same time.
However, some people can’t afford one-on-one therapy or need to go less often, in which case support groups provide a low or no cost option.
12 Step groups are always free. Members financially contribute as they can. Most longstanding members give $2 a meeting, but that’s optional.
Therapy groups, like the ones we offer, usually have a fee because they are led by a trained mental health professional. But the fee will almost always be less than the cost of a one-on-one session, and support groups are usually longer.
How do I find a support group?
Some groups accept new members on a rolling basis and are referred to as “open.” Others require everyone to start at the same time to build rapport. These are referred to as “closed.”
Our new group for teen depression is open, so your teen can join at any time as long as there is space. Our new group for partners of sex addicts will be (mostly) closed. You can sign up now, or there will be limited times during the year when new members can join.
Some ways to find a support group:
Psychology Today has separate listings for groups by topic.
Different mental health organizations (DBSA, NAMI, AFSP) have support groups listed on their websites.
You can also check with your therapist to see if they or someone they know is offering a support group.
Any of the options above can connect you with a support group that's a perfect fit. Go for it!
To join one of our new groups, simply call our intake specialist at (760) 283-7000.
Note that therapy groups—support groups led by mental health professionals—often require you to have a one-on-one intake session prior to starting. This way, the lead therapist can make sure the group is a good fit for you.
For example, a teenager who is actively suicidal may need more intensive care than a weekly support group can provide. The intake session will help a therapist recognize this in advance and make the appropriate referrals if needed.
Do online support groups really work?
Absolutely! In fact, 12 Step groups have been running online meetings for years.
We would prefer to see you in person, but while the pandemic keeps us home, we can leverage the many benefits of online support groups. Perhaps the biggest benefits being that you can do them in your PJs!
You may run into some technical glitches at first or have the occasional interruption from your kids, but if you plan ahead, online therapy is a great option. Studies show that online therapy for individuals is just as effective as in-person sessions, and we believe the same is true for groups.
We use a secure virtual platform to host groups, so you can trust that what you share will remain confidential. You can join our groups from anywhere in California.
We are launching two new online groups in the next 5 weeks—one for teens with depression and one for partners of sex addicts. Keep reading for details…
The new support group for teens with depression will be led by Tiffany Mead, AMFT. It will be online every Thursday at 3:30 p.m., beginning on March 18, 2021. The group welcomes new members on a rolling basis, if there is space. Your teen will need a one-on-one intake session at Tiffany’s regular rate if they are not already a client at Integrity Counseling Group. Fees are $75 per 75-minute group session.
The new support group for partners of sex addicts will be led by Kristi Mears, AMFT. It will be online every Friday at 9:30 am, beginning on April 9, 2021. The group is closed to new members after it begins, but there will be an opportunity for new members to join later in the year. You will need a one-on-one intake session at Kristi’s regular rate if you are not already a client at Integrity Counseling Group. Fees are $75 per 75-minute group session.